A couple of summers ago, I witnessed the most meaningful ceremony I’ve ever seen. My friend G married her longtime love. And before I go on… a word about their love.
It’s something you can feel when you walk into their house. It emanates… not just from them, but from the house itself… the furniture… the animals… the garden… the bric a brac. Entering that house is like walking into some big yellow-warm sunshine embrace; it is nothing short of palpable. And seeing them together is even more powerful.
These are two people who just so clearly delight in each other’s company. Like all of us, they have their share of less than stellar days, but they’re strong for each other, they support one another, they complement each other… and, like I said, when you see them together, you can’t help but share a little hiccup in your heart… a skip-step of giddiness. In short, if ever two people should be married, G and her love were those two people. And they’re both from backgrounds that value marriage; that see it as the highest expression of togetherness.
But there was one more factor at play that made their wedding the specialest occasion. Until that year, they had not had the legal right to marry. Why? Because G and her One True Love are women. To which I say… So fucking what??
Marriage, as I understand it, is all about love and commitment. And no two people were ever more in love or more committed.
And to those who argue same-sex marriage somehow undermines the so-called sanctity of the so-called institution of marriage… I say heterosexual couples… with their soaring divorce rates, and rampant infidelity, and vicious child-custody disputes… are doing that themselves.
Besides. Why should anyone’s choice of who to love… or who to marry… be anyone else’s business? As long as no one’s being victimized, what’s the problem?
One of the arguments advanced here in Canada, where same-sex marriage is legal (for the time being, anyway)… is that, if THIS is okay, then what’s next? Polygamy?
To which I say… what’s the hairy issue with polygamy? If three people (or four or five or whatever) choose to form a legal bond and raise their family collectively… again, as long as no one’s being victimized… what is the problem?
Oh, say the critics, but polygamy’s tied to child abuse. Uh, right. That’s the same thing they say about same-sex unions… based on their ludicrous assumption that all homosexuals are somehow pedophiles, or sex fiends. Ridiculous.
I’ve heard otherwise rational men say… I’d never go to a gay male doctor.
To which I say…. don’t flatter yourself. Just because a man may be in a love with another man, that doesn’t mean he’s uncontrollably flinging himself at every damned man who walks through the door. I mean… I have a straight male doctor. That means… oooooohhhh…. gasp…. he has sex with women!!!! But that has absolutely nothing to do with him examining me in his professional capacity.
We have a polygamist sect here in British Columbia, and it’s under near-constant scrutiny for child abuse. The allegation is that very young girls are married off to men, against their will.
To which I say… if that’s the case, it’s child abuse, for sure. But it’s an entirely separate issue from the marital status of the parents involved.
Sorry if I’m ranting here, but this whole issue gets my knickers in a major twist. I think it’s because… as one of those kids who was teased and taunted for simply being who I was… I sort of understand what it must be like to face such senseless discrimination.
We have today, in too many parts of North America, a culture that says… while most other forms of organized hate and discrimination are frowned upon… it’s okay to ostracize and mistreat people… solely on the basis of who they love.
It’s insane. I mean… I remember when I first encountered boys. There was an instant ZING! From that time on, I pretty much always had a crush on some boy or other and… lucky me… I was part of a majority, so having those feelings was a-okay.
The gay and lesbian people I’ve talked to had similar experiences somewhere in their lives…. where they felt that overwhelming sense of attraction and excitement and curiosity. But… unlucky them, they were part of a minority, and made to think that what they felt was somehow bad or wrong.
I’m on this topic today because our federal government (recently elected and right wing) is threatening to undo the same-sex marriage law. This is just the latest in a string of reversals that’s included:
– killing the nearly-enacted bill that would’ve decriminalized marijuana
– killing an agreement with aboriginal people that would’ve finally begun addressing the deplorable conditions many of them live in
– reversing the country’s commitment to do its part to address climate change, and
– killing a multi-year agreement with the provinces that would’ve made child care somewhat more affordable and accessible.
In the government’s eyes, child care is bad. I mean, everyone knows mommies should stay home with their babies while daddies work. Climate change is just a bunch of made-up garbage; after all, those scientists are all a bunch of liberals. Aboriginal people… notwithstanding the fact that white people stole their land, stuck them on reserves, legislated away their rights and tore a whole generation of children away from their families and communities… Notwithstanding that, "those people" are just lazy; they just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. As for marijuana… well, we all know it’s FAR more harmful than booze, which government not only endorses but shamelessly profits from. I mean… just look at all the domestic strife, and public brawls, and armed standoffs, and traffic carnage caused by those crazed, violent potheads. And those humsexuals… well. We can’t deport them ’cause they’re from here (darnit anyway). But we sure as hell owe it to the citizenry to make sure they’re denied the most fundamental of human rights… the right to freely love.
I’m sorry if this is a downer but I’m sick at heart for my country today. I fear where we’re going and I feel so helpless… watching our common sense progress slip away.
I guess I should just be glad that G and her One True Love are already married… and no one… not even right wing governments… can take what they have away from them.
Honeymooners in love
Exploring new lands together
Why did the honeymooners go to the bakery?
They wanted to try some honeymoons!
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